If it Makes You Happy
by SkywardGratis
Summary: Instead of alcohol Kate turns to sex to get her through the sniper case but not everything is as easy as she thought it would be when their one encounter leads to something she would never have expected. Set AU five months after KillShot.


Instead of alcohol Kate turns to sex to get her through the sniper case but not everything is not as easy as she thought it would be when their one encounter leads to something she would never have expected.

Set five months after Killshot.

* * *

"I need to stop." Her words were whispered into the pillow she'd pulled over her face only seconds before. He paused, his arms holding his weight either side of her torso as he gasped a breath in through gritted teeth. Her muscles had tensed around him and he could feel the inbuilt need to move within her fighting to take over. Slowly he moved so his weight was resting more solidly on his knees before lifting one arm up to rest his hand on the side of her face still covered by his dark blue pillow. He stroked his fingers across her prominent cheek bones and sighed as his fingers came away wet with salty tears.

Sucking in another deep breath he pulled back, slipping himself from inside of her. Rolling to the side Rick lay back against the pillows, his arm reaching out to pull Kate against his side. He stroked his fingers gently down her back as she rested her head against his shoulder, the pillow still hiding her face from his view.

"Kate…" He whispered her name and she shifted herself closer to his body. He sighed, his hand reaching up to gently move the pillow behind her back supporting her as she swayed slightly on her side.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled the words into the crook where his neck and shoulder met and he pulled her body closer to his. She snuggled her face further into his neck and her arm snaked across his chest, gripping tightly to his other arm. Her leg tangled with his as his arm returned to smoothing against her back. The curve of her stomach rested against his hip and he couldn't help the jolt of paternal pride that shot through him as he felt movement through her skin.

"There's nothing to be sorry for Kate… if you want to stop we stop, you know that." His reassurances helped sooth her and he felt a sigh of relief as the muscles in her back began to relax. "We should talk about it though Darling." He felt her nod slightly against him before she moved further down his body, her head coming to rest on his breastbone; the beating of his heart he was sure now predominantly in her right ear.

"I just…" He felt her sighed as she paused and struggled over her words. He rubbed his hand reassuringly along her spine as she started speaking again. "I hate that I can't…" She tensed before wrenching herself up and turning her back on him. He stayed on his back, his hands lying limply at his sides. He watched her spine straighten before she shuffled across the bed and made her way across their bedroom.

Kate picked his shirt up from the floor, pulling it sharply over her head. She remembered ripping it from his body barely an hour before and shook her head at the turn their evening had taken.

_He'd been so gently with her as they made their way up to the loft that evening. A nice meal at a simple restaurant followed by a walk through the quieter streets of New York had removed all the stress from her body after the bad week she'd suffered at the precinct and she found herself relaxing into the side of his body. For the first time since she had found out she was pregnant she was actually looking forward to meeting the baby. Four months to go and she would get the chance but she'd also be able to start feeling more like herself again._

_Rick knew that Kate was exhausted and had fully intended on getting her straight into bed to sleep when they walked through the door. The past four months had been incredibly hard on her ever since she found out she was pregnant; morning sickness tore through her body solidly for two months which meant Gates had her on desk duty from the start; complications just last month had ended up with Kate on bed rest for two weeks and now she'd just been told that Gate's wanted to cut her contact hours at the precinct. Unlocking the door to the loft with one hand, he guided Kate inside and helped her rid herself of her coat and boots. When he turned back from the closet she stepped closer to him and suddenly her lips were on his. _

_A flurry of activity had their clothes strewn across the bedroom as they stumbled their way to the bed. He hovered over her, his lips trailing kisses across her skin, arousal running through both of them._

Shaking her head to rid herself of the images of their night Kate paced at the foot of the bed. She could feel his gaze following her every movement and sighed unhappily as she tried to explain herself to him. He'd been brilliantly patient with her as she adjusted to the changes taking place in her body as well as the struggle she was having in her head. She'd found out she was pregnant not long after the sniper case that had thrown them all into a tailspin trying to help her overcome her PTSD. Dr. Burke had said that the stress of finding out she was pregnant had caused her brain to flood with emotions and since then Kate had felt as if she was living on a rollercoaster; never knowing if she would wake up on an up or a down.

"I hate that you have to go through all of this because of me… You shouldn't have to put up with someone who can't even decide if she's happy to be having your child or not." She could feel her temper rising as she spat the words she had held so close for so long and forced herself to take a deep breath before continuing. Rising blood pressure and stress only caused her body to go into overdrive and they had both seen the results of that when she nearly lost the baby last month.

"I nearly lost our baby because I was so caught up in work and the case… God Rick…Why do you want to deal with all that?" Her words were whispered as if sharing a secret with him and she felt the tension drain from her body as her knees buckled underneath her weight.

He darted off the bed and caught her falling body as he watched her knees buckle. Pulling her up to him, Rick wrapped his arms around her back and carefully carried her to the bed.

"Katie…" He whispered her name quietly as he waiting for her to lift her face from his neck and smiled lightly at her as she pulled herself away to meet his eye. "_I love you…_ Everything else, all the changing emotions, hormones, morning sickness… none of that matters… You matter to me." He caught a tear as it made its way slowly down her cheek and carefully brushed it away. Her brown eyes were fixed on his and he could see the defeat steadily retreating as he tried to articulate how much she meant to him.

"You're having my baby Kate… that in itself is a miracle. Think back to that night… the night we made this baby…" He placed his hand gently on her rounded stomach and cheered in his head when she didn't flinch or push his hand away. Rick knew it had taken her a long time to accept that she was having a baby, his baby, and she'd been wary of letting him get too attached to it when she was struggling with her emotions. "That night Kate… Despite everything else we've been through together over these last four years, that night was so far beyond my dreams that it was like another planet." Kate smiled slightly as he attempted to lighten the mood before nodding.

"It was amazing… even with all the PTSD stuff." Rick grinned at her response and carefully placed his lips on hers. They kissed languidly; neither of them knew how much time had passed before he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.

"No matter what else has happened or is going to happen in the future… I want you. Only you." He rubbed a hand over his face as he contemplated what to say next.

"When I first started following you, we had that case with the Nanny in the spin dryer remember?" He watched as she struggled to recall the case before seeing her nod in recognition. "You told me you were more of a one and done type of girl… and Kate? If you'll have me… I'm done." He watched as a series of emotions flitted across her features before smiling as he saw the happiness shining from her eyes.

She knew what he had been getting at when he'd first started talking but Kate had never expected him to use her own words to explain how he felt about her. She allowed a smile to spread across her features before leaning up and kissing him. She might not be his _one _and done but she was sure as hell going to be his third times the charm.


End file.
